1. It’s fun.
- It’s OK to have fun with sex in a marriage.
- The Song of Solomon is not an allegory. It’s about a relationship between a husband and a wife.
- The women speaks first and speaks frankly.
- Children are never mentioned in that book. It’s just about fun, free sex between a husband and a wife.
- Pleasure is a gift from God.
2. For children.
- In Genesis, God says be fruitful and multiply. How are they going to do that? Sex.
- Some of you were told that sex is only for making babies. Not true. It’s for both pleasure and babies.
3. For oneness.
- In the act of sex, a man and a women become one flesh.
- Biophysics has caught up with the Bible. When a man and a woman are together in a sex act, a chemical reaction happens in a human brain that has the same effect as heroin—which is very addictive. This means a man and a women, when together become connected on a deep level.
- This is why you can’t have casual sex. It doesn’t exist.
- This is why you get addicted to porn.
- Even men who frequent prostitutes frequent the same one over and over and over. They are physically connected to them.
- If you’re into your spouse and your spouse is into you by the grace of God, you will become into them and physically connected to them, desiring them. You will become one flesh, one family, one bed to glorify the one God.
- God built our bodies to connect with our spouse.
- When we connect with anything else, it leads to death. But we can repent and be made clean and connect with our spouse.
4. For knowing.
- Sex creates intimacy and knowing someone.
- When you are married and Christians you are able to know each other more than anyone else. It’s intimacy.
5. For protection.
- Sex within marriage should be free and frequent. Doing so helps to protect both partners from sexual sin.
- Bible-believing, Christian, married couples have the most sex.
- There’s no excuse for adultery, but I know couples and pastors who haven’t had sex in decades. When you’re together regularly, it helps to safeguard your marriage by having sex regularly.
6. For comfort.
- You don’t see this in porn.
- Sharing your body with your spouse is a comfort that is deeper than words.
- Sometimes just being with your spouse is a gift, especially in hard times.
- Years ago, we had friends that miscarried a child. The wife told the husband she wanted to go away for a few days to make love, cry, hold each other, pray, lay together in bed, and be intimate. For them, sex was a gift of comfort.
*Note: This entire blog post was written by Mark Driscoll, not me. I just picked it up on my blog. A few people have asked if this was coming from my own experience or knowledge. I guess the “Mark Driscoll” in the title didn’t give it away.
Post your comments below.
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This was a great post, thank you for your boldness. God Bless my friend.-watw
Glad you enjoyed the post.
This is the best breakdown of why sex should be reserved for marriage that I’ve ever seen, and I say that as someone who has never been convinced that sex without marriage is a sin. Thanks for this!
Thank you very much for sharing this–it’s easy to forget why sex should only be had in a marriage!
LaMonique – Glad you enjoyed the post. However, the purpose of this post is to reveal the reasons God created sex for marriage, not why sex should be only reserved for marriage. The Bible speaks clear as day in a myriad of places that sex outside of marriage is a sin.
Stephanie – No problem on sharing it. Happy you found it helpful.
Thank you for your frank post, and on the basis of your argument I ask you the question “Is marriage without sex a sin?”.
Re-read #5. Mark Driscoll says “Sex within marriage should be free and frequent. Doing so helps to protect both partners from sexual sin. Bible-believing, Christian, married couples have the most sex.” A Scripture to back this up is 1 Corinthians 7:5 where Paul writes, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you . . .”
Loved your post but its defintely a touchy topic for me.
Its so hard when sex outside of marriage is common in the church!
It’s like its everywhere and guys just do not want to wait, Christian or non Christian
Sigh one day.. until then I got Jesus
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I could see why you would say that, however, I don’t think we can use the word “everywhere” here because it is not happening everywhere, but it does unfortunately happen in some places. Additionally, we can’t use the word “guys” in the universal sense as in to say “every guy is having sex outside of marriage — Christian or non.” I know a ton of guys who love Jesus, serve the church, and are honoring God faithfully with their purity.
your right, I’m sorry that’s my own rant speel
but of course I’m sorry for generalizing you guys, their are good guys everywhere
Just hard to find
Good stuff, David. I am linking to the Web site for Purity’s Big Payoff/Premarital Sex is a Big Rip-off (www.puritysbigpayoff.com). I’ve sent this post to Rob Beames too – editor of Genuine Motivation: Young Christian Man and asked him to consider using it in the ezine. Keep up the God work!
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